Transcript

I had money on everybody else. I’ve never been so unprepared for anything. I’ve thought of nothing, I don’t even know who else is in the show.

Thank you, NBC; I should do that because I’ll be out of a job one day. And, they’re checked off. Thank you, everyone at table six, even Jane Seymour because you’re lovely to sit with.
I just have the best job in TV and it’s a pleasure to go to work everyday and have as much fun as I do and get paid for it and get things like this (holding up statue). And most of that, the success that I’ve enjoyed, is due to two people in particular, my pals: Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. For making me look so stupid each week. [applause]

I also want to thank my family who’s in town. Mom, Jaime, Dad, Sister, and that beautiful woman I’m sitting next to is my wife, Dana, who actually tells me how to do it every week, and my little boy Gabriel at home.

Thank you very much. I am very flattered by this. Thank you. [Applause]